#Sp11 Manifestos: UKIP

If you thought the Tory manifesto was scary from a green perspective, you ain't seen nothing yet! UKIP have never been a large force in Scottish politics, and after reading this here's hoping they never will.

The commitments are in red, my comments in black.

We will repeal the Climate Change (Scotland) Act

Abolish the Department of Climate Change.

Because why have a department for something you don't believe in?

End all subsidies to monstrous, climate-irrelevant, cost-ineffective wind-farms

Hang on, if you don't believe in climate change then why do you believe wind farms are "climate-irrelevant"?

Subject all wind-farms to democratic planning procedures. Owners of existing wind-farms rejected by planning committees will pull them down at their own expense

Support new nuclear power stations, particularly next to existing nuclear stations

Support efficient clean-coal power stations, hydro-electric and tidal power

If you don't believe in climate change, why is "clean-coal" relevant? Surely any coal will do?

Spare taxpayers the huge bill for needless carbon capture and storage

Um, you do know that "clean-coal" and "carbon capture and storage" are the same thing, right? And you've put these two sentences next to each other in the manifesto?

Spend no taxpayers’ money on the non-problem of man made climate change until a Royal Commission has heard both sides of the scientific case and has reported

UKIP clearly believes that a Royal Commission will have better investigative powers than climate scientists who devote their lives to studying climate change. And also that it will independently look at a problem which UKIP dismisses in the same sentence. In other words, they'll set up the Royal Commission to see what UKIP wants it to see.

Scrap over-regulation of abattoirs so that local abattoirs all over Britain can reopen

Bloody food regulations. Who needs them?

Encourage local food production

Local food for local people! I read that line and immediately thought back to this one, earlier in the document: Restrict immigration so Scotland will be for the Scots and the British first

Bring back control of Britain’s fishing waters to Britain, on environmental as well as economic grounds.

Ensure that any woodland planted to alien monocultures by the Forestry Commission is privatised, with full preservation of public rights of access

Toughen penalties for anyone mistreating domestic or farm animals.

We must uphold our image of being a nation of animal-lovers! Except when it comes to foxes, but that's another story.

Remove all speed cameras throughout Scotland, except in specifc locations where independent statistical research shows they have clearly saved lives

This worked so well in Oxford, the death rate on the roads soared and they brought the cameras back within 8 months. Besides, lower speeds means less petrol used.

Improve local control of public transport and support airport links. It is a scandal that the Edinburgh main line passes the airport runway, but has no station

Oh. My. God. I'm about to agree with UKIP! Edinburgh Airport SHOULD have a railway station, with regular trains to Fife as well as Edinburgh and Glasgow stopping there.

Make carriageway doubling on the A9 from Perth to Inverness a priority

Rule out satellite-based road-pricing and oppose privatisation of parking

OVERALL

UKIP's environmental policies make me shudder, but there's little-to-no chance of ever seeing them elected into the Scottish Parliament. To my mind, they are and have always been odious.