The Farts Of Life

Photo by Clownhouse III

There's a brilliant story in the Daily Record today. Well, it's brilliant in the sense that the writer has managed to pack so many puns into it, as only tabloid journalists can.

Apparently Scottish cattle produce more methane than any other cows in Europe. 142kg each, to be precise.

I could be po-faced and make the point that we should eat less meat, and therefore reduce our own, erm, emissions. But anyone who's had a bowl of lentils might want to disagree with that.

So instead, I'm going to call on the government to immediately plan for Methane Capture & Storage. Along the same lines as the mythical Carbon Capture & Storage, this will involve attaching a giant inflatable balloon to the back end of each cow. When the balloon is full, it is detached and stored underground for millions of years.

Or until the storage dump catches fire and blows Scotland off the map!