Apocalypse Porn

Today, I finished reading World Made by Handby James Howard Kunstler, a post-apocalyptic novel. In the book, North America has been devastated by the combined effects of nuclear terrorism, peak oil, a flu pandemic and global warming. Our hero lives in a small town in New York State which is keeping itself to itself and trying to get by.

So here's the thing - there's part of me finds the whole idea of a post-apocalyptic world quite romantic.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who has ever wondered what they would do if they were the last person on Earth, or at least thought they were. I've been fascinated by the genre since I was a kid, when our English teacher decided that instead of teaching us anything in the last week of term, he would let us watch the BBC adaptation of The Day of the Triffids. I loved it enough to buy the book, and to search out others like it.

And so I've read some hoary old tales of asteroid impacts, virus pandemics and nuclear holocausts. I've urged the Survivorsto start a commune and grow vegetables. I've watched the residents of Jerichofight neighbouring towns who want their resources. I've been jealous of Will Smith having a whole city to play with in I Am Legend.

So you would think that with all this knowledge of what to do if the worst comes to the worst, I would have my exit strategy planned out. I would have a store of emergency rations hidden somewhere, along with a copy of the SAS Survival Handbook. (Actually, I remember in one of the books I read that a NASA scientist had the foresight to keep a copy of the book How Things Workhidden inside a water tank.)

You would think that I had it all in hand, but I don't. You see, I know that it's merely apocalypse porn. Come the Day Of Judgement, in whatever form it takes, I'd never survive. I'm a city slicker who is wedded too much to his 21st Century technology. I read a blog like Stonehead's and I marvel at how much work he has to do just to keep his family fed and watered. I'm far too lazy for that! While I enjoy reading the novels and watching the films, I also know that in that situation, I would have starved to death before I had even considered looking for a chicken somewhere.

Climate change won't be a quick apocalypse. It'll just be a slow decline in our society, small changes in the way we do things forced onto us by forces out of our control. While I despair that we're stumbling blindly into it, I'm also following the herd and am in no way prepared for it. Hell, I'm hardly even prepared for work tomorrow!

So when the Tripods are advancing down Princes Street, I'll be the one running towards them hoping for a quick ending.